Dear Lord,
I come to you broken. I come before you angry. I cry out to you a helpless person. I come to you on behalf of my brother. My brother, who is also broken. Angry. Lonely. My brother who asks, "why does God hate me?". I come to you on his behalf.
Trials in life are hard, Lord. Matt has had a very difficult, trying year. I know that pain and trials of faith are part of this life. I know that Job was extraordinary in dealing with all the things that were thrown his way. However, it is so hard to see your love from the deepest, darkest tunnel. It is hard to learn from the trials and tests when you never seem to surface in between them. It's difficult to sense something better when you are defeated and lacking self confidence.
I come before you Lord to ask that you bless Matt. That you take him in your arms and allow him to experience joy and happiness. That you send people into his life that are friends, who love him without conditions. Allow him companionship to combat his loneliness.
Lord, I don't know if I can offer this, but I am willing to take on any trials or pain in Matt's place. This thought was difficult for me, but I would rather allow Matt happiness and joy in his life instead of suffering and sadness.
Lord, more than anything I want Matt to find his purpose. I want him to be excited about life, instead of dreading it. Please Lord, shower him with your peace and joy.
In Your Most Holy and Precious Name I pray,
AMEN
To Matt: A song that has been going through my head for the past couple weeks makes sense now. Its a part of the chorus from a song on the new Third Day album. It goes:
There's a light at the end of the tunnel,
there's a light at the end of the tunnel,
For you, for you.
There's a light at the end of the tunnel,
Shining bright at the end of the tunnel,
For you, for you.
Keep holding on, Keep holding on.
I know, Matt, that this year has been a disappointment. I know that you are feeling unloved and angry. As cliche as it may sound, there truly is an end to this suffering somewhere. God does love you, even though you don't feel it right now. I will always be here for you to talk to or lean on. I don't live to far, come and visit. You are forever in my thoughts and prayers.
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2 comments:
Jen,
I thought that you would lie to know that I had matt read this touching post.
Thanks for caring about your brother. Life is hard and having people love you while it's hard is extremely valuable to those going through it. And And And we all need to remember that God is in control even when it doesn't seem so obvious to us.
Even when people disappoint us, which is truth for all of us, Jesus doesn't. Jen, don't carry anger around at those who let you down, even when you are being the big sister and watching out for your little brother..
d
Jen, I want to tell you that is awesome that you are praying for your brother. sometimes i wish i had a sister or brother that would pray for me but i know i have freinds. so thanks for praying for me when you do. i will lift Matt up this week too.
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