Well, he is gone. Matt, my brother (the older of my two younger brothers). He decided, in a whirlwind, that he was moving out to California for the winter and going to work and stay at a ski resort called Mammoth Mountain. It was really awkward to say good-bye yesterday. I have such mixed emotions about him leaving.

One part of me says, "He is young, not tied down, why not?" "Maybe he will have a good time then come home like he is supposed to in April." "Maybe he will meet a girl, fall in love, and they will move back here."

However, another part of me hates that he is gone. It is not like I saw him every day or talked to him every night, but we are still close. He calls me for advice sometimes and then in other instances I give him unsolicited advice-which he loves. We always laugh and tease and just have fun. This other part of me is saying "He is going to miss Christmas. He won't be here to meet his new nephew. He is abandoning us." OR "Maybe he will never come back. Maybe this is where he is going to live for years." Even though I really know this is just the selfish part of me. He isn't abandoning us. He is following his dream.

I pray that God is watching over him. That Matt is able to make good decisions and have fun at the same time. I pray that he is safe, not stupid, on the huge snowboard runs and in the terrain parks. I pray that my brother returns in one piece. RETURNS being the emphasized word.

I am already missing him, just knowing that he is thousands of miles away.