A song that has really been speaking to my heart lately is the song that says
I will praise you in this storm
I will raise my hands....
Every tear I cry
you hold in your hands
I will praise you in this storm
I am terrified of storms, both literal figurative. I don't mind a small thunderstorm here and there, but the larger ones get me. Like the one on Mother's Day.
We were in Macomb and suddenly the wind turned and the sky grew very dark. The heavens opened up and God really displayed his power. It was a torrential downpour with bouts of hail. It was scary. Both my grandma and I said, "Maybe we should turn on the TV." Implying that there was probably a tornado warning and we should immediately seek shelter in the basement. I have always feared real storms.
However, this song is not about real thunderstorms. The song refers to figurative storms. Be it life storms that occur regularly in our lives. Like endless meetings, workplace conflict, spousal fights; just to name a few. Or, it could be life-altering, torrential storms with hail and tornadoes. Like a death. A divorce. An injury. And so on. These torrential life storms are often the most difficult to weather.
Most of the time, when I am in these storms I become angry with God. I turn my back on him. Ask Him why he wants to make my life miserable. This most recent storm I have been hit with is different.
The loss of my grandpa wasn't expected. It wasn't like he just went to sleep one night and didn't wake up--it was painful, for him. It wasn't easy, for his family. Normally I would be pissed. However, I felt a different emotion this time. I felt at peace. I still felt devastated at his quick exit from our lives. I felt heartbroken for my grieving grandma. I felt helpless. But among all these familiar feelings, I felt a new one, I felt peace.
Now I know what this song means. I know what praising God through a storm means. It means putting aside your anger and hurt and crying out to God. It means seeking his face through the pain. I did. I couldn't have felt better when I made that choice. I couldn't feel better now.
I praise God for the memories of my grandfather and for the 24 years that I have known him. I praise God for trials, because without them I couldn't be the person he is trying to mold me into being.
4 comments:
The song is by a group called Casting Crowns. I will look for the cd booklet thingy tonight and if I find it I will post the rest of the song tomorrow.
yeah Jenn!
Pete and i were talking today and we discussing this very thing. in the past it's been our temptation to advise people to remind them of Bible verses that may help during times like these, yet that comes off as very perscriptive: like "take a john 3:16 and call me in the morning." Instead of all of it pointing us to "cry out to God" as you so aptly said.
All of life we are to get better at crying out to God in pain and in joy, even in the middle of our routines!
way to go!
daddy
Jen, I just want to tell you this is what i needed to hear, because i am going through a storm right now and i have turned my back on God. I guess i needed someone to tell me what i was doing worng, thanks!
great entry. loved it.
i applied in marysville! i had to write your name on my app, because it asked if i had any relatives that work in marysville. so we shall see what happens. i have also applied in rochester, southfield, lake orion & davison. hopefully something will come through! let's hang out soon
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