Being Real

Peter gave a talk on Sunday that really made me think about myself. He talked about authenticity. About being real. About allowing others to see the real us.
How often do I let people really see me--who I really am. But than I ask myself, but who am I really?
He talked about people not drawing closer until they know who each other truly are. You cannot be friends with someone if all they feed you is BS. You can normally smell those people a mile away. You know the people I am referring to. The ones that always respond that everything is GREAT< JUST PEACHY< and TERRIFFIC! The ones that smaile even thought their best friend just passed away. The ones that smile even though they are being abused.
It is okay to be down. It is okay to have a crappy day. It is okay to be angry.
It is also okay to be happy and in love and excited.
I like to put on masks. Most of the time I am the smiley person who is bubbly and friendly inspite of anything. Unless you know me. I realize that I am pretty real with people I am close with. I speak it like it is, I say what comes to my mind first. Some people don't like that, but its me!
But he talked about things deeper than that. He talked about how we each have skeletons in our closets that we hide. And in the process of hiding them we cut ourselves off from others. We hide a big part of who we are.
I have a desire to grow closer to those in our small group. I think that this is something we should all look into. Who are we really? What are we afraid of? What are we hiding? What are our dreams? What dreams has God given us? If we are able to love each other inspite of all of this, we will become closer. A group of tight knit individuals with a strong bond to one another.
I want to have friends that know my deep dark secrets and love me anyway. I want to feel comfortable enough to be myself.

Praise Ya in the Mornin'...

Hey, ok, so I lied. I didn't have a chance to post yesterday afternoon, but at least I am getting to it today. No father, my hand didn't fall off. It is healing nicely, but the scar is still gruesome. Its not really ladylike or delicate...

I am in such a good mood today. I am not sure why, but all I know is that God is good!
I found out last Thursday that I am recalled to my position next year! I was doing well praising God for what I did have and not focusing on what was uncertain, and he poured on the blessing. It was so much better looking at it that way too. I wasn't wallowing in distress, I wasn't cursing God for taking my job away, I wasn't focusing on the future and what wasn't. I was living for today. Letting God know how much he meant to me TODAY. Letting God know how thankful I am for all my blessings TODAY.
What an awesome way to live. The burdens peel off and I feel lighter. I need to live each day like that. I need to focus on today and live like he is coming tonight. That's why we are not supposed to focus on the future. The future is uncertain. It is based on assumption that everything will remain the same. When I live thinking about the future, I get crabby. I get stressed. I lose my godly focus.
I pray that I am able to live for today. That I can praise God even if I don't know what is going to happen tomorrow.

Don't Fret

I am still here. I will attempt to post later this afternoon. Thanks for all caring whether or not I post, it feels good!

Crippled

This sucks! I was injured over the weekend, so now I have to type with one hand...It's kind of funny to me that we often see the best in people in the worst circumstances. For example, my husband, who has been nothing short of amazing since I have been hurt. I can experience his genuine love for me in the most tender touch and the most loving glance. He has helped me do all the things that normally I do independently, and he has not complained one bit. I can tell that he is worried but that he is strong too.
Like that, we can see the love of God in the smallest things. From a blooming flower, to a sunny day, to a strike of lightening, to the excitement that a new baby brings. God is in it all! He loved us so much that he created this beautiful earth for us. Thanks God!

YEAH It's Thursday!!

I am excited for a few reasons...
1. It's Thursday and that means tomorrow is Friday and then I get a nice two day weekend...
2. It's the end of a very tough day at school. I was thinking about writing about how bad kids these days are, but then I would just sound like those crabby elderly people.
3. I am the most excited because tonight we have the Quest. I don't know why I am always looking forward to it. I think its because I can be myself there. I can worship however I want. I can sing--or not--as loud as I want. I can experience God.
I look forward to the weekly encounters with God at the Quest. I get fed there. I worship best through music, and the music really is great there.
I know that I shouldn't just be looking to meet with God once a week, that I should be doing it daily. I try, but fail time after time. The Quest provides me with a time where I have to choose. I can choose to meet with God or I can choose not to. Sometimes its hard, whether its the difficult people fooling around next to you, or its the million of thoughts going through your head. But, when I can shut everything else out and envision million of people standing--or kneeling-- around the throne of God with their voices loud, their hands held high, singing praises to the creator, I want to be there.
I will choose to meet with God tonight. I need to experience his love and mercy. I need to be with others who also want the same thing.
God, just show up at the Quest tonight. Give us a word, inspire us to be better, to be more like your son.