Back to the Grind

Well, I had to return to work yesterday for the first time in seven weeks. It was a strange change of pace. First, I realize that we, well I really, have to get up significantly earlier. I was running a tad late getting up at 6, so 5:30 is my new alarm setting, blah!! Next, a sleeping baby isn't very easy or pleasant to wake up. Carson is like his father, crabby until fully awake. He will lay in his crib for a half hour stretching, looking around, and yawning. Unfortunately, we don't have the luxury of time in the a.m., so he isn't able to properly wake up. This does not make him happy. By the time he is in the car though, he settles down some.
It wasn't as heart-wrenching as I thought. It was sad to leave, but I didn't cry. The hard part was picking him up and then having to leave a couple of hours later to go to my new kick-boxing class.

• SIDEBAR--Let me just rant about the class...It was the most difficult thing I have ever done! Afterwards I could hardly walk!! I had to have Greg massage my legs!

Back to the topic...When I finally got home, Carson was sleeping. It was a disappointment. I wanted to chill with my baby. So, in the end, work wasn't as horrible as I thought it would be. The most difficult part was not spending very much time with him after work. I am very much looking forward to the summer when I can spend lots of time with him!

He Has Risen

Easter has now come and gone. It was a fun time, Carson's first. However, there was a uneasiness to the entire day. There was an unspoken sadness that hung in the air. It was at this time last year that we last saw our grandpa.

It seemed to be the happiest time of his life. His marriage was strong and his love renewed. He was childlike in his faith. He was smiling. He was excited about life. He was chatting about his fishing trip that seemed to be taken right out of the pages of the gospel. He was..my papa.

It definitely was different this year without him. It was obvious we all felt it, but no one said anything. We all just held it in.

Carson's presence seemed to ease some of my grandma's tension. She held him close during dinner, choosing not to eat with the rest of us.

It was a good Easter, however. Because of my savior's sacrifice I know that my papa is in heaven with Jesus. Carson's presence reminded me of how blessed I am. I have a great family. Thank you Lord for the good things in our lives. Those seem to make the hardships not so hard.

Shock and Awe

Now that the initial shock of parenthood has past, things have never been better. However, let me tell you that there is no way to prepare for parenthood. You think you know, but you don't. There is no physical way to prepare for the lack of sleep, the endless crying, and the parental bickering. They should make a boot camp for all couples considering starting a family so you can come close to the shock your system will sustain. That shock, however, is over within a couple of weeks.

Greg and I are five weeks into this roller coaster called parenthood, and things have taken a turn for the better, without a doubt. Instead of being shocked, most of the time I find myself in awe. I am in awe of my ever changing son. He is now over 9 lbs, he rolls over-inconsistently, he is awake and alert more often, he is so curious. Every day brings a new discovery for the three of us. A new noise, a new facial expression, a new movement...and on and on. I am not only in awe of my son, but I find myself in awe of my husband and his relationship with Carson as well. After eight hours of physical labor, Greg scoops up our son and starts to bond. He talks, plays, and just cuddles with him. On a daily basis, my heart swells with love, admiration, and awe.

God has blessed me with this amazing human. So small, perfect, and angelic. God has blessed me with this amazing husband. So loving, sweet, and patient. I couldn't imagine life without the three of us--and Tigger. It just seems so right.

So, I have to apologize if I scared any of you with my stressed out rants. It is just part of the new territory I have encountered. Know that parenthood isn't a cake-walk, but the cliches are true "Having a child changes everything". It changes your relationship, for the better. It changes your heart, I have never felt such love. It changes you. I am excited for everything it has to bring. The good times more than make up for the difficult ones. Like the picture above, the sleepless nights are pale in comparison to the new skills-like smiling. My favorite!!

Sweet

OK I HAD to post this as soon as I took it. He is such a sweet angel when he is sleeping and content :)

Birth Info: 7lbs 13oz, 20 in.

I was in labor for 9 hours. Epidurals didn't take-felt EVERYTHING! It was worth it in the end, though.

Welcome to the World

Here he is..... Carson Matthew DeGlopper. He has come into our lives like a whirlwind and forever changed them. Our hearts have never loved so much, and our eyes have never been so heavy :) They say your lives will change forever, and you cannot imagine how much your life will be changed. Forever. There are so many emotions. Some good, some bad. Being a parent is difficult work, but when I see his peaceful face I know it is all worth it. More pictures will follow, when my internet connection is faster.

Preparedness

I keep thinking about the things we have done to prepare for the coming of our son. We have read books, articles, and websites. We have went to a class-an EIGHT hour class. We have spent lots of money to get everything he needs. We have quizzed other parents to find out about their experience. We have went to numerous doctor visits, even the hospital once. We have toured the hospital facilities. We have packed our bags and have them waiting by the door when the time does come. There has been a significant effort and a huge amount of time put into getting ready for him.

This isn't normal for me. Typically, I procrastinate. I put things off until the very last moment and do them with little to no time to spare. This time, however, I wanted to be ready.

There is one thing even bigger in life that we are supposed to prepare for. Unfortunately, I haven't put one-tenth of the effort into preparing for that as I have preparing for my baby. Jesus, prophets, and countless others preach to prepare for Christ coming, to be ready because you don't know the day or hour.

Like the birth of our child, we don't know the day or hour, but when it comes we are prepared. However, I question whether I am prepared for Christ's return. I often finding myself asking Him not to come, just yet. Give me time, allow me to find the right guy. Allow me to get married. And now, allow me to see my baby. This is wrong, I know it but somehow I just can't utter "Come now!". I know what awaits us is not comparable to any other experience we have ever had here on earth, yet I am unable to put the earthly things aside and to just want God.

Am I the only one, is there anyone else who can relate? Am I the only one who is putting off preparing for Christ's return?

Two more weeks (or three)

Well, the time and hour are quickly approaching when Greg and I will be making that hurried trip to the hospital. I have spent a lot of time wondering when it will happen, how it will happen, and the events that will transpire hours later. I have dreamed of holding my little boy in my arms, but who knows what that will really be like until it happens.

At this point in the pregnancy (just about 38 weeks), I am getting anxious. Anxious to care for another human, to be responsible for his moral upbringing, material needs, support, and love. However, more than anything I just want him to be here. I want to see Greg as a daddy. I want to hold this little life that I have been carrying around for nearly ten months.

I am so excited to make my parents first-time grandparents, my brothers uncles, my granparents great-grandparents, and so on. The family is excited too. I get calls and emails everyday asking about my health and the baby's.

It will be a wonderful day when Carson arrives. God has blessed us. Soon, very soon!

Soon, Very, Soon

Well, here I sit all huge and round at 36 weeks. I can't wait for the next stage to start. As much as anyone loves being pregnant, and I did, it just gets old after nine months of funky things happening to your body. I am ready to see my little boy. I am ready to see my toes. I am ready to walk unlike a penguin--newest thing I have had to encounter.

The room is ready too. We had two more showers this week, and I honestly don't think there is one thing that is left on our registry. Our friends and family have been so generous. We are truly blessed.

So that's about it. I will update when the little one decides to grace us with his presence. Keep praying for a beautiful, healthy boy. Can't wait!!

Family Time

Its funny how when you are expecting a child you start to reflect on the kind of parent you want to be. You start to think about the fond memories of your childhood and how you can incorporate those activities into the life of your little one.

My favorite memories include: all three kids piling into a bed with my dad to read a book--the best was The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe!, I remember always eating dinner at the table as a family, I remember Friday nights eating pizza and watching TGIF, I remember our yearly camping trips (mom and the Japanese-need I say more?). All of those little moments seemed to shape who I am today. They gave me a great sense of love, loyalty, and belonging. I want my child to feel and experience those things too.

The question is how. Recently, as of Tuesday, Greg and I started eating home cooked meals at the dining room table (with real plates, mom :). We pray, talk, and clean up together. For three days now (WOW!!), we have cooked, eaten together, and cleaned together. It is a record (for those of you who know us well, know that we often order out, eat in front of the TV and don't do dishes for weeks). Just this little thing has made me feel closer to my husband. And this little thing will give my child a sense of belonging, love, and responsibility. That is one way.

Something else that I would love to do is read a book each night with both parents and our son. This will show him how important he is to us, and hopefully give him a love for reading.

More than anything I pray that our son knows his parents love him like both Greg and I do. I pray he is respectful, responsible, loving, and dependable. I hope to show him these things through my actions. I know I won't be all of these things all the time, but hopefully he will only remember the times we were.

Thanks to my parents for taking the time to spend with us even if it was just a family night watching TGIF :) Please know that every little thing you did made me a better person.

(The picture is the nursery as of a couple of days ago. Now we have ALL the furniture put together and in place. We plan on going to buy all the accessories this weekend. FUN!)

Well, he is gone. Matt, my brother (the older of my two younger brothers). He decided, in a whirlwind, that he was moving out to California for the winter and going to work and stay at a ski resort called Mammoth Mountain. It was really awkward to say good-bye yesterday. I have such mixed emotions about him leaving.

One part of me says, "He is young, not tied down, why not?" "Maybe he will have a good time then come home like he is supposed to in April." "Maybe he will meet a girl, fall in love, and they will move back here."

However, another part of me hates that he is gone. It is not like I saw him every day or talked to him every night, but we are still close. He calls me for advice sometimes and then in other instances I give him unsolicited advice-which he loves. We always laugh and tease and just have fun. This other part of me is saying "He is going to miss Christmas. He won't be here to meet his new nephew. He is abandoning us." OR "Maybe he will never come back. Maybe this is where he is going to live for years." Even though I really know this is just the selfish part of me. He isn't abandoning us. He is following his dream.

I pray that God is watching over him. That Matt is able to make good decisions and have fun at the same time. I pray that he is safe, not stupid, on the huge snowboard runs and in the terrain parks. I pray that my brother returns in one piece. RETURNS being the emphasized word.

I am already missing him, just knowing that he is thousands of miles away.

DOA

So I have come to the conclusion that blogs are kind of dead. I haven't had many visitors, and many others are not updating very often. Is the virtual world's appeal dying down? Maybe. I hope that instead, people are seeking out real people to talk to. Even better would be that others are turning to God instead of the faceless internet identities.
It was nice, though, just spilling. Since I didn't have a face to many people either, it did feel good once in awhile to empty myself. However, I think too many people are getting caught up in telling unknown persons instead of finding a real person to confide in. That is what your husband/boyfriend is for. That is what your parent(s) are for. That is what your best friend is for. We are hiding when we only tell the computer world our issues and then pretend to the real world that we don't have any. EVERYONE DOES!!
So instead of posting all the time I will be talking to my husband, dad, and friends. I will be praying. I hope you do the same!

Relationships

A while ago, I got a call at 6:30 a.m. It was my husband, who was supposed to be on his way to work. He had a flat, and the tire iron he needed was in the garage. I had to haul my soaking butt, fresh out of the shower, to the garage and then to the express way. It wasn't a big deal, he would have done the same for me. This situation got me thinking, though.
I love that God has blessed me with someone in my life that I can rely on. Not only that, but he is the one that I look forward to seeing to spill my guts about my day. I hold in my tears until I see him and he so gently wipes them up for me. It is just an amazing feeling to have this one person mean so much. What is also wonderful is that he can depend on me the same way I depend on him.
This baby is just kind of an expression of our love. It was the one way that you can tell the world that you want to be together forever. I am so blessed to be carrying a baby that we both had a part in making. I am so excited about sharing a family and seeing him interact with this little boy. God has been so good to us!
I thought that maybe the love would fade as the years go on, but you see couples that have been married for fifty plus years that are in more love than they have ever been. How wonderful! I am so glad that God allows us to share our lives with a special person here on earth.
Sorry about all the mushy stuff :)

Blue, Blue, Blue

I would like to introduce our little boy, due February 25th, Carson Matthew DeGlopper. Greg and I found out last night, after a painful ultrasound, that we are expecting a little baby boy. The ultrasound was only painful because I had to pee so bad :)

Currently I am 18 weeks. I haven't felt him move yet, but should soon. He was non-stop during the ultrasound, so we know he is moving around lots in there. I go Friday to my doctor for my 18 week appointment. As we find out more, I will post. Until then please continue to keep us in your prayers. Pray that Carson will grow well and be delivered safely. But most importantly, that Carson will grow in the love and grace of Jesus. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers!

HOLY COW!!

That title is not referring to me, it is referring to the quick way that time is passing. I am already 18 weeks along, and today is the day that Greg and I find out if this little bundle of joy is a girl or a boy.
I have to officially stop going to the bathroom at 2:10pm, then I have to drink 24 oz of fluids in 30 minutes, and then I have to hold it all until after the ultrasound! Oh Lord, I hope I can. Hopefully I don't pee on the table :)
So here goes nothing. I will post the results tomorrow. OH GOODNESS!! I am just so excited to see which sex God has chosen to bless us with.

Come to the Water

This weekend my hubby and I participated in a baptism service hosted by our church in Lake Huron. First of all, it was below 60 out, the wind was whipping, and the waves were churning. It was quite a night. However a little cold wasn't going to stop the eight participants who were planning on being baptized. Each had a different story. One a recovering alcoholic, one a rebellious adult, one a pastor. It was just so touching to see people wanting to make a statement that they were now choosing to follow Christ. Whatever their pasts, whatever burdens and baggage they once carried, they now were turning from sin and choosing Christ.
It was a great point in my life too. I had a different story from everyone as well. A church raised girl, I rebelled early against my parents and 'their religion'. It took me many years to start refocusing my life.
An amazing part about Sunday was that Greg was also baptized. He hadn't been baptized and it had always been a pretty sensitive subject with him. However, he finally chose to follow God's command and be baptized. It was a great moment to share with each other. It signaled that sin now has no dominion in our lives, and with a baby on the way, that is huge.
Another awesome part of Sunday was that my dad was the one who baptized Greg and I. It was cool to have him do that. I know he was there when I was a baby, but I have no memory of it. This, I will never forget.
A thought crossed my mind while I was in the frigid water. I wondered if the baby could feel the calm and peace that came over me at that moment. I know the baby won't remember, but maybe he/she was somehow comforted by the presence of God.

Back to the Grind

Here it is the end of summer, as I officially know it, and the start of another school year. Yesterday was hard. It was the first day with students, and I was given a true run for my money. I was beat after too. However, as the vacation is over, I also started to pick up the slack on my wifely duties. I cooked a yummy dinner when I got home, then I crashed. I napped for an hour then fell asleep for the night a few hours after.
Today was a little better, I felt more organized and prepared. The dynamics of my room this year are overwhelming. That coupled with my current prego status makes it more difficult. I can't do a lot of the things I was used to.
Enough about work, though. I will make it through. I have to. I hope everyone has a great week.

Loss

I recently recieved devestating news from a friend. The news made me utterly sad.

My friend was expecting a baby. She was actually only a week and one half behind me. We had plans for exercise classes and birthing classes together. It was an exciting time, but what made it even more exciting was the opportunity to share it with someone else.

I received a call yesterday morning that she had lost the baby.

I was broken. For the lost life. For the mourning parents. For all women and fathers who have had to experience this type of loss.

This one phone call reminded me yet again that we have so little control here on earth. We can eat right and exercise and still suffer a heart attack. We can wear our seatbelt and drive cautiously but still die in a car accident. We can celebrate and welcome a new life and lose it just as quickly.

If I didn't have a faith, this revelation would be depressing. However, I know that someone more powerful and wise is in control. Sometimes things happen that are difficult and sad. Why? The best answer I can give is that from our trials and losses God creates stronger, more faithful people. It is hard to think that the death of a child will make us stronger, but it will eventually.

I can't imagine the pain our friends are going through right now. I have a difficult time coming up with words to comfort them. I pray, though, that God will get them through this difficult time and allow them to concieve again.

Life Giving Water

Many people have different views on baptism. It could depend on the type of religion you were raised with. It could depend on many things...

I was baptized when I was one month old. This has always kind of conflicted me. I read in the bible that Jesus was baptized when he was an adult. Other adults in the bible were choosing to be baptized as a public profession of their faith. What the bible doesn't talk about directly is baptizing children. It does mention that whole families were baptized together, which may have included babies.
I have recently wondered if I could get baptized again. Just as a public profession of my desire to follow after Jesus. A public announcement that I have accepted Jesus' gift of salvation and grace.
I have had discussions with friends and family about this. I have gotten mixed reactions. One said that it seems like I am saying that my first baptism didn't count by getting baptized again. Others say that I need to choose to be baptized because it is a command of God, and my infant baptism wasn't my choice.
I don't think my message is that my first baptism didn't count. My message is that I am now choosing to follow God's command as an adult. I am choosing to show others that I want to submit my life before God. As an infant I didn't have that choice.
Therefore, I have every intention of getting baptized in Lake Huron on September 10th with my husband, who has never been baptized. This will be an amazing time for both of us!

I Am Trusting You

I had a rough night the other night... I had went four days without 'talking' to the john, but a long walk with my friend, Sarah, changed that. I came home and instantly brought up all my food from the day. I was pretty used to that, but it was what followed that had me scared silly.
I was awaken with a stabbing pain in my lower abdomen. It was severe. I had read about pain and cramping from your ever increasing insides, but I had never imagined it would be that terrifying.
I quietly snuck out of the room and sat on the couch, it was nearly 4am! Greg noticed I left, so he came out to see if I was okay. As soon as he sat I broke down. I was so scared. I was SO scared.
After I told him to go back to bed I realized, I have no control over this pregnancy. I have no control, other than managing my health, over the outcome of this pregnancy. It was scary to think that you can't do anything to stop a miscarriage.
I was comforted, though, by the realization that someone so powerful and loving did have control. My mantra that entire night, and every day since is "I am trusting you".
I am putting my hope and trust in God. I am trusting that he will allow this baby to develop and grow according to his will. I am trusting that he will ensure the birth of a healthy, beautiful baby in seven months. I am trusting that God is in control and he will do anything for this child. After all, he loves children.
So here I am again, faced with the humility that I have no control. But I am okay with that. I would rather have God driving.
He got me through that night, and he continues to get me through each day. The baby is fine, why wouldn't he be, he is in God's hands.

New Life

Well, I would rather be laying down at the moment due to my daily nausea and vomiting, but I really wanted to post the good news for the world to hear. If you haven't heard from my father yet, Greg and I are expecting a baby. Currently I am 6 weeks and five days. I am not very far along, but far enough to experience the side effects of crazy hormones and an 'alien life' inside of me.
Don't take all my complaining the wrong way. Greg and I are VERY EXCITED to become parents. We are already talking about room renovation and paint colors. We have a long time to plan because I am not due until February 24th.
It has been an interesting first experience with pregnancy for me. It doesn't seem real yet, because I don't have the belly. I am looking forward to the belly :) The one thing that makes it the most real is the constant nausea. The one thing that people keep telling me that keeps me optimistic is that if your have a good, strong pregnancy your hormones are off the wall, which will cause a constant state of nausea. So, I guess this pregnancy must be REALLY strong, lol.
Please keep us in your prayers for my health but most importantly the health of the baby. I am so pumped to share this experience with all of you.
Congrats also to Tina and Jessica!! I am glad I am not going through this alone :)