I am tired. My feet are tired. My brain is tired. My eyes are tired.
School starts, and I become a zombie once again. I can't get enough sleep. I can't work through the entire day without wanting to curl up on the floor.
I am even too tired to write an entry.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Serve to be served?
I was awkwardly reminded a week ago of a talk I gave at the Quest many moons ago...
It was move day. We had our new house. It was painted fun shades of guacamole and dune. The carpet was vacuumed. Our dark appliances had just been dropped off.
I was stressed. I was angry. I was vicious.
How could they? How could people I served not want to serve me back? That's what serving is isn't it? I scratch your back and you scratch mine?
"Well" said the voice in my head "Not really. Remember your talk on serving? You said that we did it out of love. That we shouldn't serve with expectations of repayment".
Okay, I remember. But that can't be applied in this situation, can it? We-Greg more than me--helped a countless number of our friends move. Why are they all bailing out on us?
Nothing seemed to be going right. We couldn't find the keys for the van. We had no help. I was irate. Screaming at my brother only eased my burning stomach temporarily.
The voice was right. I felt like poop. I was mean and demanding and expected people to serve us back. That isn't the purpose of serving. The only motivation we should bring into serving others is love. I don't think Jesus expects us to repay him for his ultimate sacrifice. How could we? What could we do to repay a debt that large. No amount of money could finance that. I was wrong, I admit it. My motivation at the time I was serving wasn't that someday they would have to help us move too. It was simply helping a friend. But now, in crunch time I recall the service and expect payment. Wow, that's low. I suck sometimes.
It was move day. We had our new house. It was painted fun shades of guacamole and dune. The carpet was vacuumed. Our dark appliances had just been dropped off.
I was stressed. I was angry. I was vicious.
How could they? How could people I served not want to serve me back? That's what serving is isn't it? I scratch your back and you scratch mine?
"Well" said the voice in my head "Not really. Remember your talk on serving? You said that we did it out of love. That we shouldn't serve with expectations of repayment".
Okay, I remember. But that can't be applied in this situation, can it? We-Greg more than me--helped a countless number of our friends move. Why are they all bailing out on us?
Nothing seemed to be going right. We couldn't find the keys for the van. We had no help. I was irate. Screaming at my brother only eased my burning stomach temporarily.
The voice was right. I felt like poop. I was mean and demanding and expected people to serve us back. That isn't the purpose of serving. The only motivation we should bring into serving others is love. I don't think Jesus expects us to repay him for his ultimate sacrifice. How could we? What could we do to repay a debt that large. No amount of money could finance that. I was wrong, I admit it. My motivation at the time I was serving wasn't that someday they would have to help us move too. It was simply helping a friend. But now, in crunch time I recall the service and expect payment. Wow, that's low. I suck sometimes.
Monday, August 08, 2005
School's In
Well, here I am again. Back at my desk, typing on my computer. Teaching summer school has been fun, it has given me something to do to keep my mind off the house.
Speaking of-we close on it tomorrow afternoon and when we sign our life away, we get the keys!! I am so excited that the days cannot go by quick enough.
I apologize that the only thing I blog about is the house. I am so excited that I can't think of anything else.
I hope everyone is doing well. Hopefully I will think of something different to write about next time.
Speaking of-we close on it tomorrow afternoon and when we sign our life away, we get the keys!! I am so excited that the days cannot go by quick enough.
I apologize that the only thing I blog about is the house. I am so excited that I can't think of anything else.
I hope everyone is doing well. Hopefully I will think of something different to write about next time.
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