Blind Faith

The last series at the Quest, and that I have been reading verses for in the bible has dealt with prayer. People at the quest shared times in their lives when their prayers were answered.
I experienced that this past week, and I wanted to share.
My car seems to be getting worse and worse these days, and last Thursday, it stalled on the way home. The first thing that I did was call my hubby. I didn't call out to God for help. Honestly, and regrettably, it didn't even cross my mind. Why would God want any thing to do with my car? Its a luxury right? After being at the Quest and coming home on Friday wondering if my car would get me to work and back on Friday, I prayed. I prayed that morning during my devotion time that God would make my car work for me. That's all. I tried not to think about the crazy sound that were coming from under the hood and just kept repeating that God was big, bigger than a breaking car.
Really, our faith in this un-touchable, un-viewable God reminds me of a scene from Indiana Jones. The scene where he is suppose to cross the wide gap to get to the other side and he has to take a step of faith that the invisible bridge will be there. Some people ask how we can believe when there is nothing physical. That is a good question and that is also what makes faith sometimes difficult.
However, God is present and an example is how he answers prayer. My car has been working since I have prayed. I have faith that God will help it along until we can get it fixed. It is assuring that God cares about the little things. I am glad that he has allowed my car to get me where I need to be, and I pray that next time I think to ask God first.

Awesome God

Sometimes a moment catches me off guard and allows me to stand back and realize what an awesome God we serve. I am a nature lover and have lately begun to photograph things that draw my attention (flowers, landscapes, ect).
However, this morning the sunrise was so amazing that I couldn't take my eyes off of it. The closer I got to school, the more of it was revealed and the sheer power of God left me in awe.
I am disappointed that I don't take enough time to be amazed by God everyday. He allows the sun to rise everyday, even though we don't always see it. He isn't only evident in nature however. Everywhere I look I can see how he is working in my life. I need to step back daily and pause in awe and realize how great my God is.

Running into Dead Ends

Just as I was finishing up my blog on my life being like a maze, it was deleted. It seems like there is always something in life thrown in my direction that forces me to choose. Am I going to react by screaming obscenities (I didn't scream them I merely muttered them) or am I going to react camly and let it roll off my back.
I was busy writing how my life compared to a maze, how I kept running into dead ends and having to retrace my steps to go anywhere. I find myself constantly committing the same 'sins' and ending up where I started.
I thought I was alright with giving God control of my life, but when my husband and I got into a huge blow out about finances and my career I simply slipped into the old ways of thinking and found myself wondering when I actually was going to get a job. I was getting impatient with God's timing.
I look back now, laughing, because I am writing this from my computer in my new classroom where I am newly employed. God does have a plan, and life seems to become much more worry-free when I trust in his plan. Why can't I remember that? Why do I always turn to my old gimmicks to try and move mountains without God?
I am living in a virtual maze, which I can navigate onlyif I allow God to drive me, but as soon as I take the wheel, I crash and burn. I am thankful that I am in a relationship with a God who allows me to comeback when I have tried my own thing and found it to worthless. I am thankful I am in love with a God who gives me second, third, and thousandth chances.
I am so excited for the next chapter in my life to unfold to see what God's has in store for me, but please pray for me to allow God to take the drivers seat, because I find myself yelling out the directions from the backseat. I need to surrender everything. I need to let go AGAIN...

Childlike

Before you start reading this I should warn all that I am an emotional basketcase. I think (well I know but really didn't want to admit it) that once I cried while watching A Peanuts Christmas. When the boy with the blanket was on stage telling the real meaning of Christmas I got all teary and started to ball, but tried to hide it from my family--I think I was in my teens.
After that warning, I will begin...
I am constantly amazed by kids. Not when they are screaming or sleeping but when they are dancing, when they are carefree and happy. One night at the Quest Mia's girls Athena and Helena were dancing in circles to The Burning's music and it just blew me away. How many times did Jesus call us to be childlike in our faith? This is just like he wanted us to be. Carefree, free, and passionate.
My faith life has a lot of ups and downs, valleys and mountains, and just recently I have begun to climb out of the valley onto the mountain top, with Jesus pulling me up with a rope. It encourages me so much to be around others that are passionate about their faith, others who are searching, and others who want answers. It drives me to be looking and searching too. Our new bible study group met on Saturday and I wanted to cry more than one time. God has blessed me to be in company with others seeking God. It makes it more meaningful for me to share my walk with other Christians and to feed off of their passion and encouragement.
My desire is to let my pride fall by the wayside and become childlike in the presence of God. I am excited to see how God will work in and with our bible study group and me. I am expecting God to show up everytime we meet, and I know that he will.
Oh what an amazing God we serve. He has abundantly blessed me with others in my life who will support me, challenge me, and pray for me. Thank You God!

Let Them Hear You In Me

I was listening to a CD that I accidentally bought the other day, I thought a song that I had heard on the radio was on it but it wasn't. Anyhow, I was listening to the CD a little peeved because I bought the wrong one, but as I stood infront of the mirror getting ready for my first professional interview this song came on. It basically stopped my in my tracks.
Being a teacher, and a Christian I meet a lot of opposition to my faith. There are laws separating church and state and now more than ever, they are taken to the extreme. So extreme that I am often afraid to discuss God and church even if a student brings it up. If a student complains to their parent(s) and then the school gets wind of what was discussed, my head will be delivered to the parents as an apology by the school board.
I always felt like I was betraying God by skirting around the subject or giving a quick little answer like "ask you parents when you get home".
My prayer everyday was that somehow these children would see something different in me. Something that would make them realize that some people do love, aren't quick to anger, and do care. But so many times I fall. I lose my patience, I start to yell, and I am not a beacon for God. Obviously I won't be perfect, but in a world where these kids are looking for something solid and good, I need to try. I need to be like Jesus.
Anyway back to the song. The song simply said "let them hear you in me". This is my prayer daily in a world where others are trying to negate God and make His presence illegal. I pray that others hear God's voice when I speak and that they see God in the way that I live.
I realized that although I can't tell these unloved children how much God loves them, that I can show them how much God loves them through my actions. I can give them a glimpse of God in my life hope that they too search for something more in their own lives.
As I went to my interview, the only prayer and thought in my head was the the interviewers would hear God when I talked and see the love of God in my life when I was in the classroom. If that is something that they don't want in their classroom, then I don't want to work there.
God has an ultimate plan, and where ever I end up I will be praying that they hear God in me, and there is no shame in that.

Letting Go of the Wheel

Driving to my parents' house to print up some information for an upcoming interview--our computer is once again crawling at a snail's pace--I realized how much I like to be in control. I like to drive, and even when I am not driving I like to be a 'backseat' driver. I like to know exactly where I am going, how long is it going to take to get there, and what is going to occur on the way. I like to plan, because in creating a plan there is a semblance of control.
For the last couple of months I have been trying to control the future of my career. I have been applying to school districts, calling them to bug them about my resume and open positions, and then getting upset when I don't produce results. Within the last week and a half, I have realized that I can only do my part, apply, and then I need to surrender control and let God take the wheel.
God keeps certain doors shut and opens other for reasons. I have come to finally realize that God will open opportunities where and when they fit into his plan.
Last week I sent out a resume to a neighboring district and prayed that God do the rest. If it resulted in an interview then, that is what God planned for me. I let go and let God, finally! Three days later I received a call for an interview.
I don't know why I fail to sometimes understand the awesomeness of God. He created the heavens and the earth, he knows all, but I seem to think that he can't help me with my simple life (compared to the other amazing miracles he has been involved in). The great and amazing thing about my God is that although he is great and mighty, he makes time for little ole' me and helping me to accomplish my dreams--for the glory of God, not me.
I came across a quote today during my devotion time. A friend gave me a book about God's guarantees, and in it was a paraphrase from 1 Thess. that read: I am the author of your biggest dreams. That quote calmed my stomach as I approach the day of my interview (tomorrow) and once again reminded me that God is in control. His hands are on the wheel of my life. I have done my part and now I need to let go and let God do his.
I am so thankful for such an amazing God!